Once I became adultish, meaning early 20’s, I looked back a bit at some things that I seem to have missed and looked at other steps that others had made and came up with a grand generalization about myself regarding, oh I don’t know how to put it. Something. Anyway, it was that I always did things about 2 years behind the curve. When I was 16, I behaved was more like a 14 year old, when I was 20, more like an 18 year old.
I know it may not seem like a big deal, but for those, already trying teen years, I think that it was a disadvantage. Especially where it came to two things: self-direction and the consideration of other people. Then I plateaued and stayed there for a long time, unwilling to even consider any modification to my mindframe (assisted by what was probably an excess of alcohol for many of those years). In fact, I wasn’t actually able to examine my rut until I was 45.
Now I’m not going to ask for a do-over. I’m not someone who relishes youth and who wishes to be young again. But, still, it leads to a lot of self-reflection and I realize that, if I had even the slightest bit of maturity about myself, nearly every major situation from 1987 to, hell, 2017 would have been handled differently (obviously, if I started doing that in 87, then the situations beyond that point would be different anyway).
My advice to me of old?
Listen to people once in a while, or all the time.
Remember that you aren’t the only one who needs emotional support, everybody does! And if you let someone into your life, then you are taking on some of the responsibility for that.
Take a serious look at your opinions.
Don’t always react in a “safest in the moment” style.
Let other people have their way and go along with it happily.
Realize that everyone in your life is there because they want to be… Think about the why… And appreciate them.
Be honest with people and don’t get involved in things you know you don’t want to.
If you like someone or something, realize you do and act like it. If not, then move on.
Make peace with everyone and make and keep friends.
And, hell, take a risk. At least once every five years! Especially in your 20’s! Such as… Live with people and see what it’s like! Go to Homer Alaska, you stupid bore! Move to Brooklyn! Don’t fall into a lifetime career just because it’s what you fell into. Figure a life you want and pursue it, risks be damned!
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