Oh my, oh my, oh my…
We all recall my distaste for George Lucas’ alterations, especially for damage done to the real trilogy but, I must admit, I hadn’t even witnessed all of it. (see here, here, and here.
I never really liked Return of the Jedi. I did like the Executor and the Emperor and his laser beams, but that was about all. Well, Luke’s black outfit was a good look. Regardless, I’ve still seen it a number of times, though I suspect that the last time was many years ago, before the special editions, as I know I didn’t see that when it came out. That said, I was already aware of, and miffed by, the replacement of Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christensen at the end… But I wasn’t sure of what other changes were made. In fact, it’s been so long that I didn’t really remember a lot of the original movie anyway.
I watched it tonight, though, my copy from the pointless 2004 DVD Boxset and, even if I don’t remember the movie that well, some of the changes stuck out like thumbs, big horrible thumbs. Admittedly, I did wander out of the room quite a few times, so I assume that there are more travestic changes that I missed.
Firstly, the hardest scene to watch in the theatrical edition, the ridiculous performers at Jabba’s palace, is literally now like ten times worse. Instead of just that weird puppet singing for a number of seconds, now it’s some horrible CG thing that goes on and on for like 2 minutes with more ridiculous creatures and more ridiculous everything. Making a scene that was boring and silly to watch into one that is downright embarrassing to watch.
Secondly, the second most boring scene in the movie, the skiff battle over the Sarlacc… The Sarlacc has a beak now? What? Why? What? Not a big deal in the scheme of things, but super-obvious and also totally pointless. Another one of those scenes that was just redone to make the original fans (who, p.s. George, are why you have the money and ability to keep on doing this in the first place) feel like someone is trying to rob them of youthful memories.
Then, of course, the aforementioned digital insertion of Hayden Christensen over Shaw.
But, then, what? At the end, instead of just a Ewok celebration, there is now a tour of worlds, with mobs cheering in the streets… Coruscant, Bespin, and, worst of all, Naboo? I don’t need Lucas to try to force fake memories into my childhood. Please, please, keep Naboo out of it!
Addendum, and another annoying Lucas-ism.
Curators at the National Film Registry picked the 1977 version of Star Wars to preserve for history’s sake, but they still don’t have a copy in the registry. When they asked for a copy, Lucas refused, saying that he would no longer authorize the release of the original version.
(source: The Atlantic, The Star Wars George Lucas Doesn’t Want You To See)
Oh my… The gall.
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